My One More Year

Funny spending more time in a city / company / with yourself is suppose to make you more wiser / mature. Nevertheless a recurring feeling which i get as i get older (recently had my b'day) is the more you spend time with urself the more you can count the following. non of them 'ironically' have anything to do with getting wiser

u can count the number of fights you've had
the number of breakup's ...which keep on mounting year on year

In Cricket im sure my life time score would be a real bad one. fielding at a real bad position somewhere in addition to down the line in batting (to add to the irony)

but there are a few things which one could add in the positive side as well

more aware of whom and what (:)) to say
more wisdom in terms of what is NOW OFFICIALLY boring
which pubs are so mundane that even the bouncers know u by name

At the end of the year...you are still left wondering if it is an end of an era. which it could very well may be. and then go head strong into the next one with loads of resolutions (non of them u actually wanted to keep in the first place) loads of hope / loads of regret baggage which you carry forward more like a savings account in a bank

One can even hope for a clean slate every year and then again do we really want one

My Echo !

Only sometimes do you hear a echo, well in the run from a morning routine of having to bathe to cursing :) why did you get up in the first place. But there are times if you listen close enough or in a rare occasion you cannot run from a echo.

It can be a name ;)) which someone utters NOT knowing what that name / word means to you or what it would mean if it is associated with yours. Echo of a memory buried (forgotten) deep - which took a LOT of shoveling and a bit of forgetting where you buried it.

Memories have a way of working their way from the past and seeking up on us. Then it can be : -

• a time of the day (6.30pm to be precise)
• or someone fighting for your time.
• You run out of a smoke (at 2am) and the ONLY person you can borrow it from is the person who won't give you one

Anywho (again need to be a scrubs fan to know this hehehe) echo's can haunt us but when we decide to punch a hole in the wall is the time when we can choose which echo's you actually want to be reminded of.

My Wrong !

Sometimes, you have to make a BIG mistake to know that you're making one in the first place...only THEN can you turn it around, by doing the right (which you should have done it in the first place - duh ;) )

But with mistakes, you always have to remember one thing ! the ones which you are aware of u can amend and make right or in some cases even make do. And then there are those mistakes, which you never knew you made (committed i guess would be the correct grammar). Now these are the best ones !! in the beginning its difficult for any of us to admit a mistake / a wrong which we never thought we could / have done.

Towards the beginning when we are made aware of our wrong doing it sometimes (heheh actually always) takes us time to digest the fact that we did commit one. And you know the worst part is yet to follow - YES :) the realization bit of it. And believe me not a small bit ;D

My infinity

Somebody sedate me!! :)

Some times reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass

And when the damn bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretence is a cage not a cocoon we can only lie to us for so long.

We are tired we are scared denying it doesn’t change the truth. Sooner or later (the sooner the better) we have to put aside our denial and face the world head on guns blazing.

Denial it’s not just a river in Egypt it’s a freaking ocean so how does u keep from drowning in it?

My Boundaries

well we can always draw line, but we need to remember one thing 'boundaries don't keep people out they just FENCE you in'

in life you always try to draw lines
there are lines which we cross everyday - knowing we'd be stepping on someone's toes when we do so
Then there are those lines which we wait for -

• Waiting in line for a promotion
• Waiting for that someon to call
• Waiting for the mc'right (:) u'll understand this if u're a die hard fan for grey's anatomy)
• Waiting for a weekend @ 11am on a Monday (then when the weekend finally arrives - u're bored to death)

then there are those lines which we wish would have never cross as opposed to those that are so far now that they seem like a dot